What will your child say if a stranger approaches them?

What would your son or daughter do if a stranger offered them candy or a toy to go with them? Would he or she accept the gift from the stranger and go with them or would they run away screaming to find you? We all hope as parents they would to the latter. According to the FBI statistics, most abductions are done by luring children to a vehicle rather than taking them by force. Here are a couple of incidents that have happened in the Metro area this spring: 

• A 7-year-old girl went missing in St. Paul on Sunday evening (May 1) after the girl's sister told police that a white man, around 50-years-old, asked her to come see his puppy around 6:30 p.m. She was found a couple hours later walking on the side of a busy highway.
• On March 31 according to the Minnetonka Police, around 3 p.m., an older man with gray hair approached an elementary student from Deephaven Elementary School as she walked home from her school bus stop. The man drove an unmarked white van and pulled up alongside the girl, rolled down his window and asked her if she wanted candy. The girl ignored the man and then quickly walked ahead to catch up to a friend who was in front of her.

Lake Minnetonka is a beautiful place to raise a family. With our many walking trails, great schools, parks and great places to eat and shop, it would be hard to believe that something like the above two incidences could happen here. But the sobering truth is that no matter where you live in today’s society, there are people who approach children with horrible intentions. Because of this harsh reality, parents need to have this difficult conversation with their children about what they need to do if ever approached by a stranger. 

Preparing your child or teen to be able to identify a dangerous situation is very important. We need to teach our children on what to do if a person in a vehicle is trying to talk to them or if a stranger tries to talk to them at a park, mall or any venue. For example, if your child is playing at a park and is approached by a stranger who is asking personal questions or offering your child something, your child should quickly get away and find you or the responsible adult they are with. This incident needs to be reported to the police.  

In my book, “Securing Smiles A Guide To Family Security,” I emphasize that if someone tries to grab your child or a vehicle approaches them to ask them a question, they should run away, scream as loud as they can and find their Mom, Dad or trusted adult. They should use statements like, ‘Stranger!’, ‘You are not my Mommy or Daddy!’, ‘Help!’, or ‘Call 911!’ and make as much noise as they can. They can even carry a whistle or any type of alarm to scare the potential abductor away. Remember, you need to communicate to your child that an adult (stranger) has no business asking them a question or asking them directions? An adult needs to ask another adult for help!

Making your children more aware will allow them to be more observant of the world around them and make better and safer decisions. This starts with you leading by example.  If a parent does not take security seriously themselves, your child won’t either.  A parent must limit all modern day distractions (i.e. use of cell phones, PDAs/Smartphone’s and headphones) and know what is going on in the immediate area of their child’s environment. Controlling this environment is much easier when your children are with you. The true challenge begins when your child is walking home from school or playing on the playground when you are not around, will they make the right decision to keep themselves safe?

We need to teach our children that…

• a stranger is ANYONE they don't know.
• it is okay to say NO to an adult, if they feel uncomfortable or don't know the adult, even if it seems rude.
• to not wear any type of headphones while outside. This will make them oblivious to any vehicle or person stalking them.
• they know that NO ONE has the right to touch them if they don’t want them too.
• they should tell a parent if they are asked to keep a secret.
• they should never get into anyone's car without their parent's permission.
• they should not take candy or gifts from a stranger.
• they should never help strangers. Remember, tell your children that grownups should NOT ask kids to do things that other adults can do for them.
• they run away from a car that pulls up beside them if they do not know the driver.
• they never say they are alone when they answer the phone and should never answer the door if they are alone.
• they never invite people into their home without their parents’ permission.
• they always let their parents know where they are.
• that they never play in deserted buildings or isolated areas.
• they should scream for help if they are forced into a car or building.
• how to identify "safe" people (like store clerks, mothers with children, and police officers/security officers) if ever lost.
• They always let you know where they are playing at a park or playground.

Parent’s Checklist:

• I have a recent photo of my child, his/her fingerprints, and a current record of his/her height and weight.
• I have my cellular phone charged up.
• I make a mental note of what my child is wearing every day.
• I carefully check babysitter and child care references.
• I know my child’s friends’ names, addresses and phone numbers.
• I always accompany my young child to a public bathroom.
• I designated a neighbor’s home as a “safe house” where my child can go if I’m not home and there is an emergency.
• I have discussed with my child that they will not approach a vehicle if it stops and asks them questions, offers them candy or toys, or wants to talk with them.
• I will report suspicious vehicles or people to law enforcement.
• Does my child know how to dial 911?
• Do not write the child's name on their clothes or books.
• I have talked to my children about strangers.

        For more information on child security go to:  www.securingfamilysmiles.com

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