The Once Upon a Time Mommy

Once upon a time there was a young mother who had just given birth (naturally I might add) to a healthy baby girl. This new mother laid awake the first night just to make sure little baby girl kept breathing. She wondered if she had what it took to care for such a delicate creature.

Fast forward 21 years, and two more kids who are now 18 and 12. This same mother now old enough to know better, but still young enough to do things anyways, has grown to learn that babies are way easier than adult children.

A baby can be strapped into a car seat or high chair for their own safety. A baby doesn't want to drive across the country alone, or have her boyfriend sleep over. A baby may cry on occasion, but they don't send you demanding, self-indulgent text messages throughout the day letting you know that you "just don't get it."

In all fairness there are a few nice perks with having older kids. A toddler can't drive you to and from Excelsior Girl's Night Out when you decide a few cocktails are in order. A toddler can't drive his 12-year-old brother to the store or run errands for you. Best of all, a toddler can't stay home alone. Gone are my days of car seats and babysitters.

It is the perks I try to remind myself of when I long for the days of being able to keep my child safely in his or her crib, and not worry about them studying abroad in Spain, or attending a three day concert called "We Fest." To my horror my children have discovered that there is this fascinating world beyond our front door.

My little boy, my prince, my 12-year-old son, is now my height and will start playing football next week. How I'm supposed to just sit there and watch other boys knock my son down is beyond me. Of course he will do his share of knocking down, which will equally mortify me. I would be less stressed out if he had taken up golf.

My middle child, now 18, who once saw the Powerpuff Girls as the be all end all, is now leaving for college. A college where they won't make sure she is in bed on time. They will let her leave the campus whenever she wants and—worst of all—there will be boys living on her floor.

My oldest turns 21 in just a few weeks. Unfortunately, she inherited my complete and utter lack of sense of direction, yet she is going to study in Spain on her own. She has gotten lost going to Target, and I'm supposed to sit back and let her navigate around another country?

No "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" book prepares you for any of this. Maybe this stage of parenting is easier for others, I don't know. What I do know is the role I have played with these kids for half my life is changing. I'll always be their mother, and I still will have one child at home to smother for a few more years. Letting the kids go out into the world without me helicoptering over them has been a difficult adjustment.

To help in my transition from mommy to mom I've been trying to see them for who they are now, and not just who they were. My son at 12 is a handsome, strong, polite young man, who can now pronounce "Rs." Gone are the days of him asking for "Wed Waspberies."

My 18-year-old daughter hasn't finger painted on a wall with her own poop for 17 years, or broken out into very loud song in a restaurant singing "Yes Jesus Loves Me." Now she enjoys travel, having already been to Paris, London, Mexico, Hawaii and a handful of other states. Her college roommate need not worry about her decorating style these days.

My soon to be 21-year-old is no longer the second to the last first grader to finish running the mile at school. Beating only the blind kid who had to be led around. She finished her freshman year at college with a 4.0 and speaks two languages.

In many ways I've grown up with my kids. I've come from being a shy, fashionably challenged 20-year-old concerned with what people thought, to a 40-year-old diva who isn't afraid to try new things or say what she wants.

Seeing the fabulous people my kids have become has made it all worth it. Knock on wood, but there isn't a serial killer in the bunch. I may be mom now, instead of mommy, but one thing I know is we will all live happily ever after.